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4:23 p.m. - 2006-02-10
Tonight Rant
I saw West Side Story five times at what was then the Graumann's Chinese Theater in Hollywood. I was fourteen. I watched it on DVD a couple of years ago and, admittedly, it does not translate well in the 21st century, in which gang members do not prance through alleys using euphemisms in place of profanities. Still, there is a mystique to the film that clings to me like a beautiful barnacle. Becoming a part of me over time. I remember skating at the Pickwick Ice Arena in my micro turquoise skirt, my suntan tights and new white skates direct from Sears. Circling the ring, clutching the wooden railings between tentative attempts at grace. My breath escaping in poufy clouds as I chattered with Barbara about someday finding my "Tony". Imagining myself in the palest lavendar nightgown, a tiny gold cross about my slendar neck ... just like Natalie Wood. Donning the dream, I would glide with a borrowed dignity before capsizing onto the frozen ice, Sandy once more. We knew every word of the soundtrack and would sing it every chance we got. Slumber parties. At the pool. "I feel pretty ... oh so pretty". And, most days, I did feel pretty. Pouting the pout I still find myself pouting when looking into a mirror. Barbara would tease me, mimicing my expression, my affected stance. Much like she does to this day, this best friend of mine. So many potential "Tony's" have crossed my path. Barbara has been witness to them all. There to share my initial bloom and to scrape up the soiled petals when his real identity was discovered. Or mine. Still, I pouted through the years, never losing that girl in blue. Undaunted, I watched "tonight" become "just any night" again and again. I could never quite let go of the dream. Never sending away the girl who holds my wonder. Here I am, decades later, getting ready for my evening with Tony. And I can promise you ... "tonight ... tonight ... won't be just any night ... tonight there will be no morning star ... tonight ... tonight ... I'll see my love tonight and, for us, stars will stop where they are ... today the minutes seem like hours ... the hours go so slowly and still the sky is light ... oh, moon, grow bright ... and make this endless day endless night ... tonight".

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