9:01 a.m. - 2005-11-07
My Vow Rant
I sat on the floor in the stunned silence of forgiveness. I rocked myself like the child that I was, while my Father tended self inflicted wounds. Sometimes, as I paced in the fury of lost years, He would but stretch His hand, calming the tempest of incriminating thoughts. At other times, it seemed the sun stood still in the heavens as if at Joshua's own behest. Memory by memory, I was shown compassion by the Wonderful Counselor, the Healer of souls. And this time, I did not fight Him. Like a fevered child, I curled in His lap and was quenched. Lifelong riddles wended their way home, yielding guarded secrets. Tenderly, He unraveled the knots that had held me bound. My story unfolded before my eyes as if a stranger's. And I was given the gift of empathy for that girl tormented at her own slender hand. I wept for her and I offered my vow. No more time surrendered to a humility that, in its arrogance, excluded grace. I would imbibe the balm that only He provides. I would allow myself to be consoled, to be known, to be loved.
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