2:11 p.m. - 2005-09-02
Surviving Rant
The sweet charade undone. Dispassionately, I watched my limbs float by in the sea of wreckage. Useless doll parts. With the vantage of a hawk, I hovered and glided somewhere out of reach. For a month, I lay feverish on the floor. The red light from the digital clock mocked the passage of time. Curled like a bug in my threadbare quilt, I sweat out the last of Larry. Day by day, God assembled the pieces like my own Gepetto. Finally, on a morning much like all others, I was whole. I opened the curtains to find the world intact. Like one regaining sight, I savored the variations of green in a single blade of grass. I watched the slow moving clouds changing form in the periwinkle sky. Starled, I recognized my own face gazing curiously from the glass. Somehow, I had survived. God had plucked me from the thick morass, depositing my fragments onto the soft carpet wrapped in a blanket of safety. Because of the instability of the relationship, I had held onto my apartment. The furniture was gone, but I had everything I needed for a new start. I had God. I had me. The benevolent walls held me fast. A new bed was delivered. In peace, I rocked myself to sleep. I was, once again, home.
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