8:57 a.m. - 2005-08-11
The Plan Rant
I fled the mountain early Saturday morning, staying with my parents. I had scheduled an interview first thing Monday. Confident that a job would be forthcoming, the weekend was spent searching for just the right apartment. I chose an upstairs unit in a Spanish style building, twin to the last. It had soft carpeting the color of an abalone shell. Silvery lavendar, irridescent and pale. There was a rubber tree just outside the window, reminding me of the little girl that was me, raking leaves with her Daddy back on Orange Drive. Light flooded unrestrained through every huge window, streaking luminous on the oceany floor. Without hesitation, I signed the lease. Resilient hermit crab, sliding easily into this perfect fit. Bearing home like the pleasant weight of heaven. I left a mermaid windchime like a kiss on the sill, promise of my return. Early Monday, I arrived at the mental health clinic well before my interviewer. Some twenty minutes late, she rushed in carrying armloads of this and that, omnipresent in her long wool skirt. Suddenly the office abounded with laughter and confusion and cafe au lait lapping onto the rug. Reciting my litany of professional kudos, she appeared preoccupied with the paper plate of spaghetti making its way onto my resume. Finally, she looked into my eyes, really looked as one human being to another, and asked why I thought she should hire me. Too stunned to fake, I explained my situation. Hugging me warmly, marinara on her breath, she told me to start in two weeks. It was all so surprisingly easy, this transition. As though God Himself had guided me, step by magical step. Angels at every turn. Mounting the hill, however, doubt seemed my only companion. My heart trembled like a lonely bird, anticipating telling Ron my plans. I drove so slowly, as though the winding road might, of its own volition, take a different turn. Erase the last few days like melting snow in the light of reason. I questioned my every motive. My very sanity. Ron was there on the porch with a book and a hesitant smile.
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