10:19 p.m. - 2005-07-09
God Rant
I don't want God-in-the-box. The God who jumps through hoops like a trained seal to make us love Him. The Vanna White God who turns the letters and we have to guess the message. The One who spins the wheel and some get parking spaces while others get cancer. The God who cares if we genuflect. The God who prefers we wear pink. The God of perky. The God who wants us to preface every sentence with some Tourette's tic of praise. The God I can contain and tame and appease and please and bargain with and promote and read all about. I want God. I yearn for God. The God for which nothing else matters or else it doesn't matter at all. The untamed dangerous undomesticated burning bush be still and know God. David's God. God. Passionate blood sweat and tears God. Not easy answers God. Not select the volume God. God. God in unexpected places. Angels unawares. A cup of water for His least. Cleft of the rock God. Touch the edge of His garment God. The God who can tolerate a doubt. The God who exists whether or not I wrap my finite mind around Him. The God who holds me in the palm of His hand lest I dash my foot. The God who will not let me go no matter how hard I try to escape. The God who comes for me. Before I call. The God who is not afraid to withhold the sumptuous poison for which I beg. Who cherishes my wavering faith. The real God. Who would rather be despised than half loved. The God who is not put off by despair. Who will never leave nor forsake me. The wild fomenting tempest that splits the Eastern sky God. Who forgives me for I know not what I do.
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