1:07 p.m. - 2005-06-21
Underestimating Rant
Don't get me wrong. Being invisible was not without perks. Very little was expected of me beyond the slow and systematic self destruction that required no real effort on my part anymore. By now, it was a matter of natural selection. Vigilantly straining the camel while permitting every gnat, I excluded any man who might provide some positive contribution to my life in favor of those who needed me to care for them. This allowed for complete control as well as slimming down my already slim to none chance of finally being left. For some time, I occupied myself with settling back into my parents' nest. I rode on the adrenaline that leaving always supplied for as long as I could. It was good for my son to be away from the daily contact high of Tom's breath. He blossomed in the consistent presence of my father, who did not merely tolerate but actually desired his company. We were on our way to becoming a real family. There were just a few groundrules to assimilate.
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