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11:02 a.m. - 2005-05-10
Identity Rant
So who am I? No, really. That was not meant to be rhetorical. Who? Rather than pose that question to the mirror, I have always looked to the reflection in others' eyes for the answer to that question. So, naturally, I have a variety of responses. I am naive, a pushover, a fool. I am selfish. I am kind. I am perky. I am sullen. I am a joiner, a loner, needy, too independent. I am the runaway bride. I am clingy and insecure. I am a love junkie. I am incapable of commitment. Call me irresponsible. Adolescent angst protracted over the span of several decades. I am thirteen going on eternal. I am a child of God. When I can allow myself to be emptied & let Him fill me, I am safe. The truth will set me free. But it is a daily act, a daily receptivity, a daily sacrament. It is not a sign on the dotted line one time decision. There IS a penalty for early withdrawal. Withdrawal of trust, of faith, witdrawal of companionship with Him. It is the severance from the grace which arrives daily, like manna from heaven. It cannot be stored, hoarded, set aside for a rainy day or the apocalypse, whichever comes first. It is my daily bread and must be received with an empty heart. No room for compromise. None of the world's appetisers. No earthly sorbet to cleanse the palate. No,it must be fresh from God's oven. Get it while it's hot or not at all. Today is the day of salvation. Not yesterday or tomorrow. A fresh communion with the Father of Lights. Not yesterday's news. Eternity Now!
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